How To Get OUT OF THE LIE CYCLE

Yes, it’s your fault.

If you lie, it’s your fault.

Deal with it head on.

That’s the only way to fix things.  The only way to heal. The only way that you’ll be able to save that “social attention” that liars seem to crave so much.

You did it.  You produced it. If you don’t like what you have produced, if you don’t like the story that you have scripted, if you don’t like the lies that you have portrayed, then

STOP BLAMING YOUR LIES ON SOMEONE ELSE

You are responsible for telling the truth.

Or you can let the police recordings tell the truth, you can let the screenshots tell the truth, you can let the text messages tell the truth, time / date stamps on photos will tell the truth, emails will tell the truth, or………

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR TELLING THE TRUTH.

Grand Delusions won’t change the first lie.

Creating a bigger LIE will not make the first LIE go away.  Imagining a bigger DELUSIONAL LIE will not make the initial lie disappear.

Getting some people together to exponentially echo YOUR OWN LIES doesn’t change the reality that : IT IS STILL A LIE!

 

Never be AFRAID to GET HELP – here’s why:

https://themighty.com/u/danpierce/content/5cd720520c144c00e91c48ea/

When it comes to getting the help you need, what is your biggest challenge?

  • The will to seek for help
  • fear of ridicule
  • telling the truth
  • Accepting the help
  • Admitting that my constant fluctuations of emotions was not normal or healthy. Admittance was my biggest hurdle
  • Feeling like I deserve to even ask
  • Connecting with the therapist, if I feel like someone is judging or I’m not comfortable I will not open up, surprisingly I got lucky. I just started seeing one and they paired me up with someone who I feel comfortable with
  • Knowing when exactly to ask for help and how to do it. I only asked for help once when I already couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t too late but I suffered for a long time because I didn’t know how to ask

It’s ok to have Healthy Boundaries and tell someone, “You are not in danger. Let me encourage you to seek professional help.”

“That’s a horrible story. Unfortunately, we know that your story might need to be clarified a bit. Right now, our organization would like to offer you a list of therapists that can help with post abused situations like yours.”

“I understand that you really want us to believe your story is truthful. We’ve also pulled public record and realize that you might need some professional help to remind you of the legal ramifications of filing a false report and making a hoax claim against a religious organization. For that reason, we’d like to offer you the names of three highly skilled therapists here locally that can help your specific scenario. Would you like us to go ahead and help you schedule your first appointment?”

Always recognize that the individual has a deep, Deep, DEEP need for attention. And, once you realize that the person’s claim isn’t quite adding up, you’ve got to position yourself in a way that protects your organization, your organizations integrity while also helping the individual as well.

You do not want to be in the position of toxic enabling or ‘giving a drunk a drink’. Simultaneously though, you do want to get the person the CORRECT help that they are wanting.

When you’ve got someone who is consistently pulling in fears from social media, someone who is consistently pulling in fears from an advocacy group, consistently pulling in fears from their peer group….. You do NOT want to enable that.

That person needs proper help.

Painting every person’s situation with a broad stroke of a paintbrush never works.

Every person’s situation is 100% unique to them. Never become complacent to think that one person’s story does not have an element of fear, fraud, shame, or hesitation to get the help that they need.

Remember that it’s YOUR job to help that specific person in their specific situation get the right help that they need.

What did you think the outcome would be?

Interesting topic or article about ‘managing expectations’ made me think of some great questions.

When a person puts their head in the sand or looks the other way or attempts to ‘deny’ something, go back and ask them what their expectations were in the first place.

It helps give others the mindset and the understanding of just how “messed up” that person’s mentality, mindset, people, policies, and procedures really are!

Pathway Church / Rick Owens: When you consistently put a lying cop over the safety squad what did you think the outcome would be?

In Sept of 2017, in the parking lot of the church, when Brad asked you, “What do I do?” and the reply was, “Find a witness. Go back over there with the witness. But don’t call the cops because you’ll make it worse.” after Rick said that what did he think the outcome would be?

After Rick, Shane, safety squad, police, members of the community, and anyone else who wants, has seen the Reames family along with Adrianne and crew, blatantly knowingly make up insidious lies to BPD, what did you think the outcome would be?

After Brad discretely reminded a few members of Pathway’s Safety Team that Ms. Conaway was issued, and is now violating a restraining order from the 249th District Court, what did Pathway think would happen when Shane instructed Casey on how and what to say to BPD, what did you think was going to happen?

After knowing that Kevin, other safety squad members, are now approaching Brad’s sister at the softball field, and recurring social instances like that are happening over and over and over again because of Pathway Church’s words and actions, what did you expect the outcome to be?

It’s like driving the wrong way down an access road, driving past the signs that say WRONG WAY , going against all of reality of headlights coming straight at you, going past all the other traffic headed in the opposing direction, causing wreck after wreck after wreck, going past all the other signs that are blatantly & obviously pointing in the opposite direction, causing all types of havoc for everyone around…..

And then a judge & a litigation firm says, “After doing all of that, what were your expectations?”

…………………..

really interesting article and psychology piece that I need to write up more, but it did get me to thinking of better questions to fully understand and better question just the insanity of some folks. sometimes it really doesn’t matter what their answer is, but it really does help to establish a baseline and a cognitive coherent consistent comprehension of what the other person was thinking.

it’s like saying to Faith, ‘ when you say yes to someone’s proposal, when you’ve lived with someone for 5 years, when you’ve rope-a-doped the church, as you’re suddenly telling officers that i’m married, after you’ve socially manipulated the community with outlandish claims, after you’ve obsessed over jason for those 5 years, after you’ve been caught multiple times violating the T.R.O from the District Court Judge, after you’ve done __________________, what on earth did you think that the outcome would be?’

….and you should ask those questions one at a time and then simply end each of those questions with something like, “What were your expectations?”

or you can even start the question with that type of prompt as well by phrasing it to be, “What were you expecting to happen to Aubree, Alexis, and Katelyn once the Judge sees Felony Theft (over $1,500)?”

what were you hoping to gain when you claimed, “He’s Married” :-O to the BPD officers that came out. what was your anticipated outcome with that claim.

Asking and phrasing things like that gives the jury, judge, social worker, and lawyer a really good understanding of the insights and mindset of the people making claims.

Lies: Afraid of Authenticity

Four realizations

• Being brutally honest and sharing very unflattering (and even frightening and socially unacceptable) things about our lives and experiences is highly unusual

• Doing so allows others to do so

• People are desperate for more realness and authenticity – in themselves and in their lives

• We so very rarely come face-to-face with true authenticity and raw realness, that when we do, it’s scary and hard for us

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2016/09/18/lets-face-it-were-completely-afraid-of-authenticity/#38491e6d6b68

Perception is Reality

http://www.drpaulwhite.com/perception-is-reality-not-always-true/

notes, thoughts, highlights:

HOLY BALLS OF JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL BATMAN MOTHER OF ALL THAT’S GOOD & HOLY LORD 8LB 6OZ BABY JESUS MOSES GLORY TO GOD OF THE NATIONS OF THE WORLD

every damn word of this article is friggin’ spot on!

wow.

 

more articles of interest:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jorge-oller/perception-is-not-reality_1_b_6373360.html
https://liveboldandbloom.com/07/self-awareness-2/6-steps-to-untangle-reality-and-perception

Reality VS Your Perception of Reality

Choose Truth

Did they cross a line that should never be crossed

Are your alliances stronger than your convictions?

A lot of folks walk around pulling what I like to call the George W. Pre-Emptive Strike (or just the George W. for short); that guy had a reeeaally strong feeling that he acted on before he found any proof, and we all know how that turned out. If a person is scared of being hurt it’s easy to justify an anticipatory strike to cut off pain and suffering at the pass, but the bummer is that you can end up generating a whole slew of consequences that you never saw coming.

Making a call based on your fears instead of evidence sucks. It’s not fair to you, your character, your integrity, and it destroys those around you.

find out if your friend is emotionally unstable or not the good old-fashioned way — let them reveal their self to you through their actions during the course of your friendship. You don’t need to get involved in these peoples’ conflict.

Unfortunately, taking sides in the way your friends are advising you to is a passive form of involvement, at least partially based on hearsay.

Dear Lying Women

Women Who Lie

If you think the church, the non-profit, the police department, other individuals, and the community has

UNLIMITED RESOURCES,

ENDLESS PILES OF CASH,

an INFINITE AMOUNT OF TIME,

ENDLESS PEOPLE

  • at any given time,
  • for every claim,
  • no matter what,
  • no matter what the circumstances,
  • regardless of how outlandish the claims are,
  • regardless of what delusional stories make absolutely ZERO SENSE,
  • without paying any attention to actual facts – both digitally and physically,
  • And completely throwing out WHY the motivation is for this claim, then

…you are wrong

Women Who Lie
Lying Woman

….please stop lying.

YOU, YES YOU MA’AM

YES YOU ‘SOCIAL ADVOCATE’

YES, THOSE OF YOU WITH A HERO COMPLEX AT CHURCH

………you are wrong!

There is no church that has endless piles of cash in their ‘benevolence fund’.

There is no ‘domestic violence non-profit’ that has endless resources to give to women who lie.

There is no community that has enough people to volunteer to help you when you are lying.