abusive behavior as “a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors that operate at a variety of levels – physical, psychological, emotional, financial or sexual – that one parent uses against the other parent. 14 The pattern of behaviors is neither impulsive nor ‘out of control,’ but is purposeful and instrumental in order to gain compliance or control.”
http://www.ncjfcj.org/sites/default/files/judicial%20guide_0_0.pdf