Level of self awareness
Notice when you’re forming an opinion. At that point in your perception, stop for a second. Think for a second about your own level of self awareness.
Are you holding your own level of cognitive bias in check. Are you keeping what-happened to you before in control.
Are you projecting something that happened to you onto that other person because they have a similar characteristic. Maybe that person is a similar gender. Perhaps that person talks with a smile all the time. Maybe that person is wearing a low cut blouse or a suit.
Don’t ever project or associate one characteristic of a person with another.
Let’s do an example:
Bernie Madoff wore a suit. Are all people wearing a suit financial criminal masterminds? No.
My great uncle wore a uniform and a badge and has worked some of the most incredible security missions for international countries. Are all people in uniform good? No.
Most cops make great situations in every environment that they are in. Some cops get too caught up in the moment and let adrenaline alter their perspective and decisions.
When you’re listening to a person, always keep a level head, stay objective, and keep your self awareness in check.
Mentally stop yourself from forming a perspective and framing that person in a false narrative.
Do not ever project something positive or negative from one person onto someone else.
Every person should be judged, held accountable, and seen for who they actually are.
No one person can acquire the characteristics of someone else which you might not like simply because it’s more convenient for your mind to form an easy opinion.
There is not one specific gender which can be responsible for everyone else of that gender. (For the #YesAllMen crowd, this one is for you) There’s not one man who should ever allow your mind to form an opinion on all men.
Guys: Likewise there is not one or two ladies who should let your mind form an opinion of all women. No, not ‘all women lie’. Some ladies tell the truth.
It is your job to make sure that you control your own mind.
You need to stay in control of your own thoughts.
You need to keep your own cognitive bias in check.
You are in charge of your own perception.
Don’t ever let your perception of one person develop blinders because of someone else.
That’s letting an external source control your ability to read that person.
You wouldn’t want someone walking up to you and forcing you to wear green tinted glasses that makes everything you see look a shade or tint of green, right?
Well, that is exactly what happens when you let your perception and clarity become clouded.
You are letting some other event dictate your perception of this event.
You are letting some other person decide your ability to read this person.
Pay special attention to yourself, and your mind’s thoughts.
As soon as you begin forming an opinion of that person, reel it back in and keep your objectivity and perception absolutely crystal clear so that you can read that person clearly.